OKay I swear this will be the last post today and then I am taking my whiny ass to bed so I can work tonight. I do want to point out that this has already been therapeutic to me somewhere to be real and bitch and whine without judgement or ridicule or empty fucking promises
But that's life.
On a side note I did talk to S today twice and I caved like a bitch. Didn't stay strong did the love and miss you too thing. Uh. But I did stay strong in the u cant come home thing. He is getting released tomorrow and I did find him a safe and encouraging place to stay and did agree to him coming here to see the kids while I work. But I am scared our marriage is over, I know there has been to much hurt and to much pain to go back to normal. I just hope when he is face to face with me I will remember that and not just how lonely I am.
One day I hope to be able to look back on these posts and see what I have progressed from and realize how far out I made it. Hopefully that day comes sooner rather than later because this worried, broken heart, hate fueled bullshit is not somewhere I want to live.
Well I better get off to bed, have a lot on my mind hope I can get some sleep for tonight. Tomorrow is going to be another difficult one most likely one for the record books.
So if anyone is reading this I apologize for my inconsistencies and grammar issues. I am normally the grammar nazi but fuck it this is just therapy right.
No comments:
Post a Comment