Okay gotta start this blog with a disclaimer.....this is not for anyone under 18, no one easily offended, there will be lots of cussing and vulgarity. This blog is meant to be therapeutic for me, and maybe even help someone who is going thru the same thing. So there is going to be a lot of bitter honest truth because I've bitten my tongue and walked on eggshells for way to long. Here is ur chance to walk away...........
Well I guess since ur still reading u are either in my situation, super brave or just one of those people who cant look away from a train wreck.
A little back story, S and I have been married almost 15 years, and he has had manic highs and lows and rages the whole time. I didn't have a name for it until about 6 years ago. The reason for this blog now is he is out of control off his meds and has become violent and I've recently ( last night ) had to have him committed so he could get the help he needs.
So here is the seriousness of my personal hell I'm car less, I'm in a deep financial hole because most of his checks are garnished. I may have lost the job I have because I had to call out last night because I wasn't sure I could leave my kids home alone. I live 10 miles from the closest town so short of a dollar general and a gas station my options of things within walking distance is quite limited. My only family that lives close has taken his side and decided I'm not worth their time anymore and just a few minutes ago my oldest daughters school counselor called and said my daughter is cutting. That is an action her father started just a few weeks ago and during a rage told the kids about and blamed on me. So on my road out of hell I will be welcoming counselors, child protective services and the court system into my life. From what I've seen of these agencies nothing good can come from that. But I will get there, I will come out the other side with grace and dignity and will find a happiness in life that has eluded me for so long.
This blog is to give me a place to vent, a place to document my journey and to celebrate once in on the other side.
so welcome to my hell. I'm off to get ahold of domestic abuse agencies to see if I can get help to get to the court or sheriffs office to get a copy of the police report for work. This is going to be a completely fucked up day, and I'm sure u will hear from me again either tonight or tomorrow.
if you are in this situation or have been through it and have any advice for me please leave comments. I have no idea how to navigate this arena and who or where to turn to or there is even anyone to turn to.
